¡chao chao chile! ¡nos vemos!

Viña del Mar, the place i've called home for the last five months. i took this picture this afternoon. it shows the canal that runs through the middle of town and goes out into the ocean and is taken from a bridge only about two blocks from the beach. beautiful, i know. now you know why it's hard for me to leave.
i don't really know why i'm writing at three o'clock in the morning instead of sleeping (except that i figure it's better that i'm a little tired tomorrow, b/c then maybe i'll actually sleep on the plane), but i kinda wanted to keep my loyal blog readers posted as this journey comes to an end.

the last few days have been kinda rough, slightly depressing, but today i think i finally starting to come around, thanks to a conversation with my mom and some divine revelation. see the thing is that for the last two years of my life, every semester has been radically, drastically different, this semester obviously being the most different of them all, and now i face yet another jolting change. and while i really do love the change, and i've learned so much from it about where my dependence should be (in the Lord) and not on people and things and places- because those are always changing and coming and going- sometimes i'd just like to be able to have do the same thing for more than just 4 or 5 months... and this has been such a sweet time of my life, probably my favorite thus far, it's even harder to leave it and move onto something that i know will be so drastically different. but, at this point in my life, i'm being called to live a life where the seasons are constantly changing, at times ridiculously drastically and rapidly (like winter to summer in less than a day...). but then i've always like the changes in seasons. the Lord shows us a different part of Himself in each of them, and i have complete confidence that He'll do the same in this change. so i've committed myself to not just go where i know He's leading me, back home that is, but to delight in the journey He's sent me on instead of grumbling about having to leave this place that i love so much. and i leave with every intention in the world of coming back some day, hopefully not too far in the future.

sooo, this concludes the posts from chile (tear...). geez, i can't believe it's over. it's been so good... words just don't quite do... thank you all for supporting me while i've been here! i think i'll probably keep up this blog, at least for a bit to document the readjustment process, and maybe longer... we'll see.... well, nos vemos pronto (we'll be seeing each other soon!).

from winter to summer in < 24 hours

trying not to freak out. fighting back tears. trying to keep my mind off of it. in denial that people are leaving. cuz i leave in three days. three days... and i don't know if i've ever had such conflicted feelings. i'm so excited to go home sometimes. i miss people and places and things so much. i know that it would be wrong for me to be here longer. i know that the Lord's faithfulness will follow me, b/c it never ends. but i still hate that i'm leaving. i hate that i will soon be thousands of miles from people i love, from these cities that i love. that a new student will soon be moving in with my family (although i'm happy for them at the same time... just jealous...). that even my gringo friends will be far from me. i'm about to leave everything i have grown to know and love in the last five months. and it absolutely breaks my heart.

mia, one of my best gringo friends, left today. i've been in complete denial about her leaving. i think it's because she's just going to the states for two and a half weeks and then she's coming back to chile for the second semester. so for some reason, since her goodbyes with everyone in chile aren't final, i feel like our goodbye isn't either. that i too will be coming back too, that we'll see each other in a few weeks after going home for a bit. but no. i'm not coming back. and it's ok. but still......

so i made cookies today. lots of cookies. to keep myself busy. take my mind off of leaving. it was pretty fun. pipe hung out with me while i was making them. he helped quite a bit and we got to talk too. geez i'm gonna me having big brothers. i'm gonna miss my big brothers. pipe keeps telling me i should stay... but i can't... i think they're pretty nervous about having a new student move in soon too. i was there first exchange student, so it's going to be an interesting transition for them too.

but as much as leaving is killing me, i'd rather it hurt that be dying to go home. b/c the fact that it hurts is a testament to how wonderful this experience has been. geez it's been a blessed experience. so i'm just going to have to learn to praise the Lord for this beautiful season of my life that He's given me, and accept the changes in the seasons, b/c they're always changing. i just kinda with that there was a spring between this winter and summer. i have a feeling that the change is going to be quite the shock. but the Lord will provide even in unnatural season changes. He will always provide. so i rest in that. until i see you all. which will be oh soo soon!

las despedidas

the goodbyes have started... well i guess the goodbyes actually started at the end of last week, but today i had to say goodbye to three of the people who have been some of my best friends here. and it was really weird. really sad. these are all people who have been a huge blessing to my life here, who i've spent alot of times with, shared a ton of laughs with, maybe even a couple of tears with, and who have just been with me in this awesome experience. and now we all go in our separate ways. maybe our paths will cross again, but then maybe they won't, and if they do it's doubtable that is will be in this city, and it will never be with all of us together. sometime this friendship thing that we do seems so weird... how we make these close friends, share our lives, maybe little pieces of our hearts with them, and then after weeks, months, with luck years, our lives take us in different directions and the relationship comes to a close, never to be the same, even if they do hang on by a few thin strings of communication. at times i've asked myself why we do it. why we're friendly with people we know we will only have such a short time with, in some cases just hours or days (like the people you talk to on a plane or when you're traveling). but i always come to the conclusion that it's worth it. no matter how short the time, or how painful the goodbyes, investing in the life of another human being is always worth it. it's worth it b/c every person i meet and the moments i get to share with them, change me just a little bit. add to who i am, what i know, how i see the things around me, and how i relate to everyone else. i know this may seems completely simple and probably cliché, but sometimes it's easy to lose sight of the importance of these relationships that seem to always be coming and going. plus i'm left with so many memories that will always make me smile. thanks friends... words just don't do justice to explain what a blessing it's been to have you in my life! so here's to my gringo friends! ¡les quiero muchisimo!

juanito (o aaron) y lianna

barrett y la mia, they're debating whether to let me into barrett's house as they gaze out the window at the top of his stairsme y lianna :)

the sad part is that this is just the beginning of the goodbyes, and the most difficult ones are still to come. but i've know that this would all have to come to an end at some point, so i think in a way i've kinda been preparing myself for it all along. so i'll deal with these goodbyes as they come, and try and not let the knowledge that they're coming put a damper on my last two weeks, or really less that two weeks, that i have here. plus, as the day of departure draws nearer, i find myself getting more and more excited about coming home and all that awaits me stateside. the Lord's preparing my heart for the next season He has in store for me. well, that's about all for now! i love you all and would love to hear how life's going. and mark your calendars for july 15th, cuz that's when i get back!