goodbyes are the pits...

sitting here in the super posh setting that is alexander coffee (a cafe near the main plaza in the center of santa cruz), my new home away from home due to the wifi access i can get here, i'm exhausted and at a loss to explain the weird mix of emotions that have been swirling through my head and heart all day. this morning tom and steve left our little volunteer family for the last leg of what has been eight months of traveling around south america. these two guys were two of the original three volunteers in the house when i arrived, and while that was only three short weeks ago, i feel like they really became my brothers in that short little bit of time. i guess that's not so hard to believe when you consider that for three weeks we spent almost every hour not spent in our separate volunteer projects together, living in the same house, eating our meals together, even sharing the same bathroom. and now these boys who i have come to hold so dear are across the country in la paz, and there's absolutely no telling when, if ever, i'll get to see them again. as they left this morning at the oh so early hour of 5:15, i felt what has become the all too familiar pain of goodbyes that may very well be for forever. not to be melodramatic or depressing, but these types of goodbyes, where you invest in someones lives and become so incredibly close, only to see them go with no guarantee of return, have become commonplace in my life since i've gone off to college, and while this situation is by no means new to me, i still feel like i don't know how to deal with the emotions that they bring. now, i'm torn between joy for the experiences i know the boys have ahead of them on their last bit of the journey and feelings of great blessing for having had the opportunity to share three weeks of my life with these super fun guys and feelings for extreme sadness as i realize how much fun and excitement they brought to our little volunteer family, how weird it will be without them, and how sad it is that today's goodbye may not be a "see you later". so for now, i feel a little numb, a lot tired, but i guess mostly grateful for the experience. every time this happens, as hard as the goodbyes are, i realize that investing in someone's life is always worth the heartache of leaving.

in other, less depressing news. yesterday was a really cool day at the orphanage because i finally got to meet the speech pathologist who comes in to work with the children on thursdays and saturdays. for the last two weeks i had missed her for various reasons, but yesterday we got to sit down all morning and talk about each of the kids, about being a speech pathologist in bolivia, and about the huge need the country has for more people trained in our field. it was so cool to see an in the flesh example of my career here in bolivia. and let me tell you, speech pathologists are ridiculously needed. at the moment, bolivian universities don't offer a degree in speech pathologists, so the few that the country has have to go abroad to get schooling and then face the daunting task of finding very scarce resources for their practice once they return to the country. eoneses (i think that's her name...) was practically begging me to come back to bolivia once i have all of my schooling done b/c the need is so great. we'll have to see about that... i can't even think that for down the road, but it was so interesting to get the perspective that eoneses offered. getting this perspective was one of the things i had really hoped to achieve in my time here, so needless to say our morning long talk was great.

in other news from the orphanage, the kids continue to crack me up and amaze me the more i get to know them. wednesday i came home with little teeth marks etched into my shoulder after being bit by a little boy named javier who has a tendency to freak out for no good reason (he's only 3, but man can he bite!). i also eat lunch at the orphanage every day and the food continues to be an adventure. today's meat was... well actually i have no idea what it was. and i'm always a bit shocked to look into my friend mauriel's soup bowl and see an alien looking slimy chicken leg protruding from the steaming liquid.

and then, there's the fact that today is my last day to be a kid. well... let's be real, i'll keep being a kid after today, but legally speaking, i've come to the end of my childhood (stop crying mom and dad, i'll always be your baby!) it is a weird feeling though, being on the brink of the great 21 years of age. it'd mean a bit more if i were back in the states, but it's still a pretty momentous birthday. it's weird celebrating it down here, so far from all of you that i love, but i guess that's just how it had to be.

well, i was going to upload some pics, but i'm having trouble with it so i guess i'll just try again the next time i update, i'll try to get some pics of the kiddos at the orphanage up as well! welp, i love you all. keep the updates coming!